As I began thinking about what I was going to write today, a friend contacted me on Skype to say hello and the conversation began like most have for the past year and half since we met. Nothing much has changed, the next bright shiny object had appeared and another dream was being followed.
Life has dealt this gentleman and few blows, but he hasn’t given up, although it has been a long hard road for him.
As the conversation started to sound familiar, there was a change in my own story this time, because I had progress to report. Things are moving in the right direction for me and I have to say, I felt a little guilty for what I was sharing with him.
Another idea popped up and then he had a deal for me, which sounded a little all too familiar. We had made deals like this before, but today I wasn’t buying and I gave a little unsolicited hard love.
I also asked if he would mind me sharing this story with my readers and he said that would be fine, just as long as no names where mentioned.
In the half hour before he wanted to offer me a deal I had been giving him some details about what I have been doing, the plan I’ve been following and how well it has been working out.
His deal was for him to use my Recovery Mode learning series “when he gets his new dentures” and I was happy for him to do that because he needs to make some money to feed his family (times have been tough).
Normally my response would be that is great and I hope you get your dentures soon, but today I wasn’t going with that version. I just said “ You go for it – Just do it!”, which was met with “I will….just need to get ready for it”.
I said “how about you get in your car, drive to the nearest business district and start knocking on doors, because that is all the preparation you need, Just do it”.
This was met with “just have to work on my appearance”, which is where I would normally think OK – I’ll just leave him to do his own thing in his own time, but not today.
Instead I shared a story with him, a true story which means a lot to me, because it is about me and my wife at a time she was suffering from a debilitating panic disorder.
Our family doctor had known me since I was 8 years old and to say he knew me well, would be an understatement.
He told my wife and I one day that we needed to get a divorce (WTF).
Sue had a severe panic disorder and at its worst it kept her in bed for a long time, often curled up in a foetal position, crying uncontrollably. For no explainable reason depression set in and she was not facing life well at the time.
I said “but we have a good relationship, why would we need to get divorced?”
He responded with “you’re not helping her enough.”
So I told him in no uncertain terms how much I cared for her, and how I was doing the best I could do, considering I needed to work all the hours I was working to support my family. I stated strongly that I was doing my bit by making sure we could afford to live and looking after the family.
He then asked “Is she important to you?”
To which I replied “She in the most important person in the world to me”.
His response was hard take, but was so true, when he said – “Then Act Like It!”
You need to be there for her now more than ever and you can find a way to do it, even if it means spending less time working in your business.
“But I have a business to run, I have to do this, I have to do that”, I ran with a few excuses why I couldn’t spend more time with here. God knows it was an overwhelming situation and the thought of doing less work and potentially earning less money than we needed was a scary thought.
I was already spending a couple of hours each day driving kids to school, coming home early to pick them up from school most day, doing the shopping and a lot of other things, The last thing I wanted to hear was that I wasn’t doing enough.
But he was right. For the lady I love, I needed to do more and the next words he said were a life lesson I will never forget.
He said “It doesn’t matter what you think you’re doing, it is not enough. It is what you’re actually doing that matters and the rest is BULLSHIT”.
We made some changes, my wife fought hard and with the help of that great doctor lots of progress was made at the time. Today it is still a battle to fight those demons that return from time to time, but I am there for her, working at home when she needs me.
Anyway, although I used my own personal situation to make a point here, this story is about my friend. When I delivered my story, I followed it up by saying that it doesn’t matter what he says he is going to do, he just needs to do it.
I said “have a shave, shower, get dressed – no need for a suit and tie, get out there and knock on doors. You are you and if you accept that, so will they.”
“The rest is excuses”.
I know, because I have made my fair share of excuses and it wasn’t until recently that I started logging off Facebook, spending less time helping others, when we actually needed help ourselves, that life started to head in a better direction again.
I will close this article off here with the quote for today.
“It is the moves you make in life
that make a difference to your life,
and the rest is just BULLSHIT”
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Talk to you again soon and bye for now!
Just a Home Business Learner